Grief Resurfaced

15 Jun

I recycled through my grief over the past week. The pain of the narcissistic relationship I was in resurfaced.

I hadn’t felt anything strong or particularly relevant to my X Narc…I was triggered by unrelated grief.  I wanted everything just to be NORMAL.

Have you felt that? Where you’re so TIRED of processing things? Of analyzing yourself and the aftermath in fear that you won’t be prepared if it happens again?

I cycled through all the grief really fast; without shedding a tear, but still…How easily I could lose all sense of knowledge I have about who the narcissist REALLY is in favor of who I wanted him to be. (a loving, genuine guy; a stand up guy)  The truth is I was involved with a CON who pulled the wool over my eyes and called it “love”.

By the way, It’s not that I feel “foolish” about that, but so DEEPLY HURT. I really “loved’ that person. Id certainly never given up my heart, mind and soul to a person before; not like that.  In the end, seeing that his personality disturbance turned it into just a big fake charade is the most hurtful thing to my genuine, loving nature. It’s not an ego thing either; but a violent assault on my gentle heart.

I digress….

All this being said, you can see I’ve been mulling over the hurt again and have consequently felt sad and helpless; as a result, I really want to let go now.  Peacefully, calmly and with resignation: LET GO.

With that, I’d like to challenge all of you who are still harboring feelings of hurt and resentment towards the raw deal the narc dished out to you….. that you surrender and LET GO with me.

Let’s LET GO and make room for a brand NEW LIFE!

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One Response to “Grief Resurfaced”

  1. Ms MW July 28, 2011 at 2:33 am #

    Your Not Alone in the letting Go process nor the rehashing of past events in mind & heart.
    Xx

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