You’re oversensitive! You overreact!
You have a very vivid imagination!
Because I said so!
Who do you think you are?
I don’t want to hear another word!
If you think x, you’ve got another thing coming!
If you don’t like it, too bad!
Why can’t you be more like (so-and-so)?
I can do whatever I want!
I never said that. (When they did.)
They’re just jealous of me. (When they’ve been complained about legitimately.)
What do you want ME to do about it? (When it’s clearly their responsibility.)
After all I’ve done for you!
Someday you’ll be sorry.
Stop being such a crybaby!
Nobody ever does a damn thing around here!
I’ll do (whatever) so fast it will make your head spin!
You’re gonna wish the hell you’d never been born!
Get over it!
What is wrong with you??
You think you’re so smart!
Can’t you take a joke?
I don’t care.
I told you so.
I do everything, and I never get the credit I deserve!
(When they do very little, and often begrudgingly.)
You lost your job this morning? Oh. I almost lost a job one time when…
You don’t know what you’re talking about.
My kids always get great marks in school. (Johnny gets mostly Cs, and Suzie flunked English and History again, because nobody ever helps them at home.)
What a bunch of idiots.
I deserve the best.