The Non-PD “Recycle Bin”

Borrowed from:


The Non-PD “Recycle Bin” – The Non-PD “Recycle Bin” is a collection of some of the most common reactions and responses to personality disordered behaviors that many of us have instinctively tried, sometimes over and over, but that have not been effective in most cases in helping improve our quality of life or the quality of life of those who have the personality disorder.


Click on the links for more information on each topic:

Abuse Amnesia – Abuse Amnesia is a form of denial in which a victim habitually “forgives and forgets” episodes of abuse when it would be more appropriate – and ultimately better for both parties – to hold them accountable for their own actions.

Amateur Diagnosis – An Amateur Diagnosis is when a non-qualified individual confronts someone whom they suspect suffers from a personality-disorder and shares this belief with them, usually in the hope that this revelation will help to improve the relationship or the situation.

Avoidance – Avoidance is the practice of withdrawing from relationships with other people as a defensive measure to reduce the risk of rejection, accountability, criticism or exposure.

Circular Conversations – Circular Conversations are arguments which go on almost endlessly, repeating the same patterns with no real resolution.

Codependency – A Codependency is a relationship in which an otherwise mentally-healthy person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected by an addiction or mental illness.

“Control-Me” Syndrome – “Control-Me” Syndrome describes a tendency that some people have to foster relationships with people who have a controlling narcissistic, antisocial or “acting-out” nature.

Denial – Denial is believing or imagining that some factual reality, circumstance, feeling or memory does not exist or did not happen. Non-PD Denial is cycles of particular types of denial that people who live with or are close to personality disordered people are prone to.

Enabling – Enabling is a pattern of behavior often adopted by abuse victims which seeks to avoid confrontation and conflict by absorbing the abuse without challenging it or setting boundaries. The perpetrator of the abuse is thus “enabled” to continue their pattern of behavior.

Fix-It Syndrome – Fix-It Syndrome is when a non-personality-disordered individual frequently puts themselves in the position of a caretaker who is responsible for compensating for their personality-disordered loved-one’s behaviors, cleaning up any messes created by their actions and fixing any problems arising from their mental health issues.

Fleas – When a non-personality-disordered individual (Non-PD) begins imitating or emulating some of the disordered behavior of a loved one or family member with a personality disorder this is sometimes referred to as “getting fleas”.

Intermittent Reinforcement – Intermittent Reinforcement is when rules, rewards or personal boundaries are handed out or enforced inconsistently and occasionally. This usually encourages another person to keep pushing until they get what they want from you without changing their own behavior.

Imposed Isolation – Isolation from friends, family and supportive communities is common among victims of abuse. Isolation is sometimes caused by an abusive person who does not want their victim to have close relationships with others who may challenge their behavior. Often, isolation is self-imposed by abuse victims, who out of a sense of shame or guilt, fear the judgment of others.

Lack of Boundaries – A lack of boundaries is often at the root of long-term abusive relationships. Lack of boundaries means the absence of rules, limits and guidelines for acceptable behavior. Inconsistent or intermittent reinforcement of consequences for inappropriate behavior is common among both abusers and abuse victims.

Learned Helplessness– Learned helplessness is when a person begins to believe that they have no control over a situation, even when they do.

Obedience – In 1961 and 1962, Yale University psychologist Stanley Milgram performed a famous series of experiments which demonstrated that about 2 out of 3 people will perform a cruel action towards another person if instructed to do so by someone whom they regard as an authority figure. This demonstrated that most people are prone to doing something they do not want to do, even something they would normally regard as “wrong”, just because they are told to do it by an assertive or authoritative person.

Passive-Aggressive Behavior – Passive Aggressive behavior is the expression of negative feelings, resentment, and aggression in an unassertive, passive way (such as through procrastination and stubbornness).

Rescuer Syndrome -Rescuer Syndrome is when a non-personality-disordered individual mistakenly assumes that their own skills and qualities are adequate to cure or compensate for their personality-disordered loved-one’s mental health issues, often disregarding medical or professional best-practice and attempts to cure the personality disorder through their own personal effort.

Stockholm Syndrome – Stockholm Syndrome is when a hostage, kidnap victim or abuse victim develops a sense of loyalty or co-operation towards their captor or abuser, disregarding the abuse or the danger and protecting or sustaining the perpetrator.

Thought Policing – Thought Policing is any process of trying to question, control, or unduly influence another persons thoughts or feelings.

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